Never Crossed My Mind
by Nicole

~ CHAPTER 4 ~

The sun was just beginning to rise when Zac woke, alerting him that it was far too early to be awake. He rolled over onto his side and tried to situate the pillow to a comfortable position before he realized the pounding on the door was what had woke him up in the first place. He waited for it to stop, hoping it was someone too drunk on a Friday night to be pounding on the right door. It didn't stop though, and he thought he heard his name being called from the other side of the door. Curiosity pulled him out from under the covers, his long hair falling in his face as he padded to the door. The sight that greeted him when the door was fully open was far from what he expected to see.

Jacey was there in a tank top and sweats so long her flip flops were barely visible. Her hair was tangled and her face was tear stained - the sobs wracking her body were obviously to blame for that. Zac pulled her to his chest, shutting and locking the door behind her. He hugged her for a few seconds and then tried to sit her in the chair, but she refused to let him let her go.

"Zac... My mother... She's dead..." Jacey was barely able to manage the words between sobs, and the statement clawed at Zac's heart. He brought Jacey to his chest once more, stroking her hair and whispering apologies and comforts. After a good thirty minutes, she finally let him go.

"You didn't drive here like that, did you?" he asked.

Jacey held up her keys and nodded. "My dad is at the hospital and didn't want me to come back until they had all the wires and everything out of her. I didn't want to be alone, and I didn't know where else to go." She couldn't stamp down enough pride to tell him that even if she had some place else to go, Zac was the only person she wanted to be with just then.

"How did it happen?" Zac asked quietly. He still sat next to her on the bed, moving the strands of hair that fell in her face behind her ear.

"She just crashed. Her heart slowed, and then stopped beating altogether. Dad said they worked on her for almost an hour, but she kept going back down. Finally they had to just let her go."

Zac gave her a friendly kiss on the forehead and hugged her again. "Do you need to go to the hospital now?"

"Yes, probably." She stood and looked at him. "Thank you for rescuing me, yet again."

"That's what friends are for," Zac replied. Jacey smiled in return and grabbed her keys.

"I'll call you when I get back home. Which reminds me, I don't have your number." Jacey took out her mobile to program in his number, but Zac surprised her by taking the phone out of her hands.

"I'll put my number in here for you," he offered, tapping away. "But are you sure you want to go to the hospital by yourself?"

At this question, Jacey balked. "I hadn't really thought about it. I just knew that when my dad called and told me, after he hung up, all I could think about was getting here. I could think of anything else but getting to you." Her thoughts now voiced, Jacey's cheeks turned pink, realizing she might've given herself away.

Zac hid his smile and took her hand. "Let me get dressed and I'll go with you."

********************

Jacey's one aunt, her mother's sister, was already at the hospital with Joe when Jacey and Zac arrived. Celina Jacobs was comforting her brother-in-law when the younger two entered the room.

"Jacey, I'm so sorry." Celina embraced her niece, and Jacey accepted it gratefully. Celina had stepped in since Maggie started to go downhill, acting as a second mother to Jacey, and a friend to Joe. She held Jacey at arms length and looked her in the eye. "I told your dad I'd come get you, but he said he was sure you were fine."

There was more question than statement in the sentence, but Jacey pretended not to notice. A doctor came in and removed the last few tubes and wires from Maggie's body, and told the family that the coroner would be in soon. Jacey approached her mother's bedside, but couldn't make herself touch the lifeless form in front of her. She said her silent goodbyes, then stepped back, allowing her father to resume his position next to Maggie's bed. Celina put a hand on Jacey's shoulder and promptly led her out of the room. Zac took the hint, and stayed behind, extending his condolences to Joe.

"Thank you, Zac. And thank you for bringing Jacey up here."

Zac nodded. "Anytime, sir."

Joe looked down at Maggie, caressing her cold cheek. "I remember how nervous I used to be around Maggie's father when we first started dating."

It took a moment for Zac to catch on to what Joe was saying. "Oh, no, Jacey and I are nothing like that. I'm just trying to help her get back to being able to be friends with someone." He gave a half-smile, feeling entirely inappropriate having this conversation in their present circumstances.

But Joe only watched Maggie and spoke further. "Jacey has a willing heart, willing to love. She just needs someone who is willing to put in the time."

Zac was silent. That Joe already knew how his heart felt about Jacey was evident, but Zac was still having trouble convincing his mind to take the next step. "Jacey has explained her past to me. I know that she has put a lot of boundaries up, and I just want to be her friend before anything else."

Joe nodded. "I understand. But don't let Jacey's past force you to put up boundaries that allow for nothing more than friendship."

********************

Celina was less forgiving in her talk with Jacey.

"Your father says this boy just came to town a few days ago and you're already attached to him. What's going on?" she demanded.

Jacey put a hand on her aunt's arm. "Calm down, Aunt Celina. Zac is just my friend. Something I haven't had for years, if you remember."

"I know, sweetheart. But don't you think that you're in unstable circumstances for a romance?"

"I told you, he's just a friend."

"Don't lie to me," Celina said sternly. "And don't lie to yourself, Jacey. I could tell from the moment you walked in with him. You're more at ease with him then you've been since before Robyn died."

Jacey had no reply. Celina had seen right through what she had tried to hide from herself - there was more between her and Zac than just an attempt at friendship. Jacey slumped into a chair in the hallway and ran a hand through her hair.

"This is awful, awful timing. And he's a work client."

"Quit making excuses. I watched my sister mourn herself to death, and I refuse to let my niece do the same thing. Don't shut him out, Jace. If he wants in, let him."

"I thought you were against this?"

"I'm not against you being in a relationship with this boy -"

"Zac."

"I'm not against you being in a relationship with Zac. I'm against you leading him on to think that there's hope. You're broken, and if he thinks he can fix you, you can't just be out to prove him wrong."

"You're not making sense. You ask me am I stable enough for this, but now you're telling me to let him in. Which one am I supposed to do?” Jacey's sobs started again as the feeling of being overwhelmed washed over her. Celina held her niece close to her and let her cry.

"I can't tell you what to do, sweetheart,” Celina whispered. "I can only tell you to let things happen.”

********************

Zac let his hand rest on Jacey's shoulder while she watched them take her mother away. Joe had his breakdown then, and Celina and Jacey were both sobbing as well. Celina and Joe clung to each other, and Jacey was stretching to hold her father's hand while Zac held her and did his best to comfort her.

An hour later, they had no more reason to be at the hospital. The four of them walked out to the parking garage, and said their goodbyes.

"Jacey, are you going to go home to your apartment or go to your dad's? I'll probably stay in the guest room at his house tonight,” Celina said. "What do you want to do?”

Jacey risked a glance at Zac, who shrugged. "I think I'm going to stay at my place. I'll be all right.”

Joe hugged and kissed his daughter before making way for the car, and her aunt gave a meaningful glance in her direction before leaving. Jacey walked a few steps ahead of Zac and didn't even bother to get in the driver's seat. She wasn't up for driving anyway.

At the hotel, Jacey followed Zac up to his room without a word. It was barely nine o' clock, but she just wanted to sleep. He shut the door behind him, not sure exactly what her intentions were.

"I need to get some more sleep before I record,” Zac told her. "You're welcome to stay, watch TV or whatever.”

"Can I go back to sleep with you?” Jacey asked. "No funny business.”

"Only if you promise.”

"I promise.” She gave a half smile at his joke, and it made him feel better to see her spirits lift, even just for the moment.

Zac got up to close the curtains while Jacey curled into the bed. The room was pitch black until he did go ahead turn the television on, knowing it would take him awhile to fall back asleep. Jacey seemed tentative and he wondered if she was thinking about her old boyfriend. She rolled on her side, propped up by her elbow, and faced him.

"Did you talk to Isaac about where you're flying to? The studio has you going to Tulsa, but if it's New York, I need to make that call today.”

"Jacey,” Zac said quietly. "You don't have to think about that. I can make the call.”

"If I keep busy, then I won't think about it so much,” she confessed.

"Your mom just died. It's okay to think about it. And I've been thinking that unless I absolutely have to be at this thing, maybe I'll stay in Wichita a few extra days.”

"Why?”

He said her name and laughed at the same time. "You don't see it, do you?”

Jacey laid her head on the pillow, trying to figure him out. "See what?”

"I want to try to help you. I do. I want to be your friend and get to know you. But we both know that it could never just stop at friendship.”

One of them would have had to bring it up sooner or later, Jacey knew this. She just didn't expect it to be now. "You know, I've been fighting that since the day you got here, Zac. I didn't want to believe that someone had finally gotten through to me, but you have. I haven't needed anyone in a long time, but then you showed up, and I need to be around you to feel okay. You make me feel safe, and I haven't had that in a long time. I don't want to rush things and end up breaking your heart, though. I may be willing to accept that I have feelings for you, but that doesn't mean I'll always know exactly what to do with those feelings.”

"I know that,” Zac whispered, pushing her hair away from her face so that he could touch her cheek. "I know it's not going to be easy. But you're worth the effort.”

It was the first time someone had ever told her or made her feel like she was worth the effort to break through her tough exterior. "Do you mean that?”

Zac kissed her hand. "Very much. And I promise you, Jacey, that even if things don't work out for us, I'll be your friend, always. You can always count on me.”

The hesitation she had before left abruptly and she buried herself into his chest and his embrace, a place she was quickly beginning to enjoy being. He held her for a few moments and then adjusted her so that her check was resting flat on his chest. She closed her eyes and listen to the beating of his heart while his chest sank and rose with each breath.

"What does this mean?” she asked.

Zac shrugged. "What do you want it to mean?”

Her turn to shrug. "It's only been a few days, but this feeling like this is right... it's kind of intense, honestly. I want to be yours, I know that, but is it too soon?”

"I'm sure people have called themselves a couple much sooner than this,” Zac assured her. "I need you to make me two promises though, before we do this.”

"Okay.”

"First of all, don't shut me out. You have to let me in if we're going to make this work. It will be difficult, for both of us, but I promise you I will give it my all, if you do the same thing.”

"I can promise you that,” she said confidently. If there was anything Jacey was determined to do, it was to not be the cold shell she had been for the last ten years of her life.

"And second of all... working with the studio, I'm sure you know this, but if you hear things about me in the media, you've got to come to me before you assume anything, okay? I promise you that I will never hurt you, and I'll be up front with you, but you can't believe everything you hear.”

"I promise to let you in, and I promise not to assume.”

"All right then. Let's get some sleep, shall we?”

He picked up the remote and turned the television off, while Jacey cuddled up next to him, both of them more ready for sleep than ever.

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