Never Crossed My Mind
by Nicole

~ CHAPTER 3 ~

Jacey was visibly shaking when Zac followed her into the hospital. She stumbled a little walking through the door to the main lobby, so he steadied her with a faint touch to the small of her back. They walked until they found the main desk, and a young man there told Jacey she could find her mother in the ICU, and that the nurses would have the room number. Jacey looked at Zac with tearful eyes.

"I don't know if I'm ready for this," she admitted.

"You can do this," he assured her. "And I'm right here with you."

She knew she would blush if she told him that he was adding to her anxiety as much as he was a comfort. His eyes on her, his touch on her skin, his voice in her ear... She was far too vulnerable at the current moment in time for him to have that affect on her. Jacey simply nodded and led him to the elevator bank. The ride up was silent, Zac on one side and Jacey leaned against the other, trying to collect her thoughts. The elevator stopped all too soon, and Jacey froze in the doorway. Zac caught the door before it could close on her and dragged her to the white tiled floor that laid below the white walls and white ceiling.

"You can do this, Jacey."

Again, she only nodded, thinking how much of a mistake it was to bring him here. Her father would know him by name if not by face, and surely Zac's presence would bring up painful memories for her father, too. They stopped at the nurse's station to ask after her mother's room number, and the young brunette nurse gave Jacey a three-digit number, and then gave Zac a sly smile. Jacey walked, not feeling much at all at this point. Zac took her arm and pulled her back.

"I'll wait out here, okay?"

His answer was again only a nod. He sat on one of the cushioned benches and watched her walk slowly down to her mother's room. He wanted to hold her hand and tell her things would be okay. He could tell she wanted to do this on her own though, so he let her go. He was fighting his own emotions, torn at this point; he wanted to push through the barriers she had up, but at the same time, his feelings were growing stronger by the second, and he wasn't sure exactly what that meant or where it would lead.

********************

Jacey winced when she saw her mother's emaciated form. How long had it been anyway? Almost a month since she had seen her mother? Maggie Michaels looked like she hadn't eaten in that whole timeframe. Joe Michaels stood dutifully next to his wife, holding her hand and whispering to her while she slept.

"Come on in, Jacey girl," Joe spoke. Jacey looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Daddy..." Jacey picked up her mother's other hand, limp and cold in her own, and begged God to save the woman.

"We don't know much right now. If she wakes up in the next couple of days, she'll be all right. If not, well, then it isn't looking so good."

Jacey nodded. "Jeff is out of town and has me assisting a client at work, I didn't make it on Robyn's birthday. She probably thought that --"

Joe shook his head, interrupting her. "Don't blame yourself. She did this herself. The three of us took a hard hit, losing Robyn, but we've got to move on sometime."

"I know. I was just thinking earlier today that I can't keep people out anymore." She took a deep breath. Maybe that's why Zac was here, in her life now. They stood silently with her for a few minutes before Joe released Maggie's hand for the first time since he entered the ICU room. He walked Jacey out to the hall and hugged her tightly.

"I'll let you know when there's an update," he promised.

Jacey shrugged. "We're not leaving yet. I'll probably go down for the cafeteria and then come back."

"We?"

The tears built up again. With her father as her fortress, the dam broke again, and Jacey wanted to tell him all the mixed emotions her heart was experiencing. "Dad, the client Jeff left me with this week, it's Zac Hanson."

"Hanson? You mean... Oh." Realization filled his features, and he instinctively reached for his daughter's hand...

"Every time I looked at him when he first came, I remembered how much Robyn loved them. It's changed these last few days though, Daddy, and I don't know how to make it stop. When I look at him now, my face heats, and my heart skips. He was there for me today, and he hasn't treated me like I'm iced over. He just waited for me to warm up to him."

"Let him in, Jacey. Let him be the first you don't push away."

"It's not that easy."

"I know, Jacey girl. But you'll make it work." He dried his daughter's tears and then brought her in for a hug. "And it doesn't have to be romance. Just make a new friend, if the opportunity is there."

Jacey nodded. "He's waiting down the hall. Do you want to meet him?"

Joe gave a half-hearted smile. "You're already letting him in more than you think. Sure, I'd like to see who's got my girl all tensed up."

Jacey felt the blush she had been waiting for, but led her father to the bench where she had left Zac. He was tapping out a rhythm on the bench with his hands, but stilled when he saw Jacey and her father. He stood to shake hands and make introductions with the older man, who suddenly had a teasing glint to his eye. Jacey caught it and prayed her father wouldn't embarrass her.
"I appreciate you being there for my daughter," was all Joe said.
"It's my pleasure," Zac assured him, and there was no doubt in Joe's mind that he meant it sincerely.
"Are you hungry?" Jacey asked. "I thought we could find something in the cafeteria. I know it's not the best choice."
Zac shook his head. "That's just fine."
"Okay. Daddy, do you want us to bring you anything back?"
Joe thought for a moment. "Oh, I suppose a cup of coffee would be nice. I don't have too much of an appetite."
Jacey nodded and headed back to the elevator bank, ignoring the looks the young nurses were giving Zac as he walked beside her.
"I guess it's time to explain myself," Jacey sighed. They had just sat at one of the tables in the hospital, and she suddenly found she had no appetite.
"You don't have to," Zac shrugged, meaning it thoroughly.
Jacey locked her eyes with his before continuing. She was determined. "Robyn was my big sister, two years older than me. We were more or less joined at the hip from the time I was born. When I was twelve and Robyn was fourteen, she died of leukemia. She just got sick one day and had to go to the hospital, and then she never came out." She took a few seconds to compose herself and wipe away a couple of traitorous tears. "My parents and I just kind of shut down after that. I hadn't had anyone in my family or close to me die before that, except for my mom's mom, and I was too young to remember her when she passed away. I alienated all my friends, went through high school as the weird loner girl. My dad handled it the best of us; he still talks to his friends, although he does drink a little too much more often than he did before Robyn died. My mom and Robyn were closer even than Robyn and I were. See, I'm a daddy's girl, and Robyn was the mirror image of my mother. Mom used to call Robyn her little twin girl. She's been drunk day and night since Robyn's funeral. There have been a few times she was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning, sent through rehab, but it never quits."
"She's never tried to kill herself before though?"
"Not on purpose like this," Jacey sighed, taking a bite of her pizza. She swallowed and took a sip of her soda. "So, if I have acted... cold, or... rude, this week, then I really do apologize. It's nothing personal. It's just the person I am."
Zac nodded, letting it all process. He wadded up his napkin and let it fall on the plate in front of him. He let his hands fall to his lap and leaned forward. "Do you think Robyn would want it this way, Jacey?"
It wasn't the first time he'd said her name, but it was the first time it had affected her like this. "I guess I've never thought about it like that before."
Zac reached a hand out to hers, again delighting in the feel of her small hand covered in own. "I didn't mean to be so blunt. I'm sorry. I know I've only been here for a few days, but I can see that you're a wonderful person. Even with as... tense as you can be, when you do smile, when you do let your guard down..." He stopped to shrug before he said something cheesy. The pink flush that filled Jacey's cheeks warmed his heart, and made him smile.
"Do you think... I know you're only here for a few days more, but do you think you could help me?"
"Help you?"
Jacey smiled shyly. "Help me learn to let people in again."
Zac's answering smile conveyed his eagerness to fulfill her request. "Of course."

********************

Jacey was sniffly but not tearful or shaky when they returned to the hotel that night. Zac checked his watched, and ventured out to ask her up.
"It's not too late," he added quickly.
She had to admit she had no desire to be alone that night. "Maybe just for a few minutes. But no funny business."
Zac immediately looked up and began to defend himself, but saw the teasing smile. "Glad to see someone's getting a sense of humor."
Jacey laughed and made sure to lock the car before starting up the walkway. Neither of them spoke until they were at Zac's room. He inserted the key, and the light flickered green, and he swung the door open.
"Ladies first," he smiled. Jacey rolled her eyes and entered the room, already feeling her spirits lift, despite the day's events.
The room was tidier than she expected. A couple of shirts were laid neatly over the back of a chair, and several notebooks were scattered across the table. The bed was unmade, and she looked at him, curious.
"Uh, I get a little homesick in all these hotels. If I can come back to the room the way I left it, it helps," he explained.
"I see." She continued to scrutinize the room while he called up for room service. She folded his shirts, setting them on the table, and then curled up in the chair. He eyed the shirts conspicuously.
"I'm kind of a laundry freak," she admitted.
"Ah, then we're going to get along just fine."
They made small talk before the knock on the door sounded. Zac gestured for her to stay where she was at, and came back with two trays, setting them both on the table. Jacey had to laugh when she saw the ice cream and toppings.
"I knew that had to get a smile. Ice cream makes everything better," Zac joked, picking up one of the bowls and drizzling the ice cream with chocolate syrup.
A few minutes later the television set was on, an old black and white movie playing. Jacey was wishing the bowl was bottomless, even if it was just stress eating.
"So, you know, part of letting people in is letting them get to know you," Zac said nonchalantly, licking the back of his spoon.
"Yeah."
"I know about your family history. I know about your job. What about boyfriends?"
"What about them?" Jacey asked, setting the not-so-empty bowl on the bedside table. Zac gave her a pointed look. "Fine. I had a boyfriend. Once."
"And?"
Jacey picked the bowl back up, and took another bite of the sugary goodness. "It was my junior year of high school. He was handsome, and charming, and popular. He asked me to prom, and for the first time in four years, I was excited about something. My dad took me out and the lady at the store helped me find a beautiful dress. Everything was perfect, until he dropped me off at home. He tried... some funny business -" She stopped here to smirk at Zac, "- and I wasn't having it. The next school day, everyone was talking, and he acted like I didn't exist. Turns out it was just a bet to see if he could get Jacey Michaels, the dead girl's sister, to go all the way with him." She took another large bite of ice cream, and set the bowl back down.
Zac's face fell. "Jacey, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that."
She shrugged for what seemed the millionth time. "I'm not the first girl it ever happened to, and I'm sure I wasn't the last. I'm over it. What about you? Girlfriends?"
"You know, time on the road, touring, recording. It doesn't bode well for relationships."
"Understandable." Jacey checked the time. "Do you want to find a movie to watch before I go home?"
Zac agreed and picked up the remote. He sat on the edge of the bed while Jacey sat back, hugging one of the extra pillows to her chest. They found a movie they could both agree on, and settled back to watch. A couple of hours later, a drowsy Jacey slid off the bed, ready to fall asleep.
"I'll leave you my number and you can call me in the morning when you're ready to record, okay?" She scribbled her number on a scrap of paper, and found her keys.
"You could stay," Zac suggested, just as drowsy. He knew she would never accept, but just the same added, "No funny business."
Jacey smiled. "I appreciate the offer, but I really need to go home. I've already overstepped about fifty working lines."
Zac walked her to the door, standing behind it while she walked out. She turned at the last minute, and her face was incredibly close to his.
"Thank you for tonight, Zac. It means a lot to me," she whispered. She was too close and she knew it, but she couldn't make herself move away.
"You're welcome." His head seemed to move of it's own will as his lips neared hers. Jacey's reality came back just before the kiss was complete.
"Good night," she whispered, hurrying down the hall.

: Previous Chapter : Next Chapter :
: Chapter Index :

Go Back To: The Gifted Ones